A couple of years ago I was asked by the University President and Hospital CEO to write a conflict resolution pledge for their organizations. This is what I came up with:
you are part of a Church, College, School or Hospital Staff,
maintaining a HIGH MORAL is the key to your future development.
However, a successful organization’s HIGH MORAL swiftly evaporates
under the weight of interpersonal conflict. Only 1 negative step
backwards will undo 100 positive strides forward. Negative steps in a
leadership staff occur via one of three Conflict Engendering Items
whispering, backbiting, offenses, abusive speech, or slander.
(falls into two categories):
against a colleague, supervisor, or board member/s.
conflict acts in, an ever expanding circle, it must be dealt with
swiftly. Therefore, everybody must buy-into a simple, easy to
understand THREE STEP procedure:
go privately to the person you suspect is the cause of one of the
above 3 Conflict Engendering Items (CEI). [This occurs after the
first meeting, or run-in, where the CEI occurred].
purpose of this meeting is reconciliation. It is not to rehash
history. It is to clear up a misunderstanding or the CEI.
a CEI is present, then the best scenario is for your Colleague to
say: “You are right, please forgive me”. At this point, the only
appropriate response from you would be – “I forgive you”.
Both Colleagues move forward as if the offense never occurred and
the organization’s HIGH MORAL wins.
cannot happen, and is totally inappropriate behavior, is for the
offended individual to go to anyone else with this problem. You are
not allowed to confess someone else’s mistakes/sins. In that
situation, the person, you are GOSSIPING TO should say: “What this
person did/said may or may not be true, but you talking to me about
this is gossip.” Even if you don’t use the person’s name, the
result will still be the same – you are damaging the HIGH MORAL of
the organization – you are spreading the discontent.
you cannot resolve the conflict by following STEP ONE, choose an
impartial “counselor” to go with you. (Often the reason for not
resolving the conflict is the person does not want the initial
meeting with you). The counselor should help the individuals to
negotiate a resolution. The counselor must not be informed of the
facts prior to the meeting. This would make him/her biased to the
individual explaining the “facts”. The counselor is not there for
either individual but for Maintaining the HIGH MORAL of the
the counselor cannot achieve a resolution he/she becomes a witness
who gathers facts for STEP THREE.
neither STEP ONE nor TWO resolves the conflict, all three individuals
appear before the CONFLICT RESOLUTION BOARD. This board must have the
authority to discipline the individual/s through whatever steps are
appropriate, including termination of association with the
organization. Their duty would be to listen to both sides, excuse the
two individuals so that they can deliberate with the “counselor”,
and determine the proper action.
is recommended that everyone in the organizations initials each of
the THREE CONFLICT RESOLUTION STEPS, dates, and signs the Pledge.
the problem will go away, without employing any of the above steps,
members of the organization should let it. The only time to address a
problem is if it will not go away.
don’t have to “take offense”. Just leave the “bait” on the
trap (The Bait of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense
by John Bevere).
rule of thumb: If it stinks, don’t stir it.
can have an off day. If somebody “gossips” to you, he/she may
just be venting. Don’t repeat what you heard to anyone. Instead, go
to them the next day, and ask them if they still feel this way about
their colleague/supervisor. If they do not then let it go – forget
it ever happened and do not repeat what you heard. However, if they
do still feel offended, explain to them that they have two options,
either to go to the person who offended them, or you are going to set
up a private meeting for just the two of them. Everybody in the
organization must be responsible for protecting its’ HIGH MORAL.
to work this “Conflict Resolution Pledge” into everyone’s
Employment Contracts. It should help free your organization from
CEI’s, Slander suits, and will help weed out individuals determined
to harm the HIGH MORAL of the organization. It will also make Borger,
TX a much better place to live.
material is original with Jesus (Gleaned from Matthew 18:15-20). Feel
free to customize it for your organization and to share with other
MANAGERS/LEADERS/CEO’s in Borger. I would feel honored to explain
this to any focus group you choose. Since I gleaned this from Jesus
you don’t have to footnote or give me credit for any of the above
you should choose to use.